Dear Parents
HENDRY (HENNIE) ANDREWS
As I welcome you back to the 2nd term, I have to report that it has started extremely sadly for us with the very sudden death of Hennie Andrews on the first day of term. Hennie has been a member of the kitchen and dormitory cleaning staff since April 1989, a period of 32 years. He was the current longest serving support staff member across the school: a lifetime of service to the Prep and he will be remembered by many colleagues as well as boys, particularly those who boarded.
We extend our deepest condolences to his wife, Mabel, their two children, extended family and friends. The school will pay tribute to him in a Memorial Service this afternoon.
May he rest in peace.
DISCIPLINE
As you know, the Principal fed back twice to the community last term about a video of Bishops boys that had been shared on social media and was reported on in the press. People often want to know who was involved and what the consequences are and not everyone understands that when dealing with children (and teenagers are still children), the privacy of the boys and confidentiality are essential and so the communication cannot be as open as many would wish.
The Principal, in his newsletter at the end of the term, commented again on this issue and I think it is important to share it with you. As a school, from Grade N to matric, we share the same philosophy and values and address the issues he outlines in an age appropriate way throughout a boy’s career; in LO lessons, assemblies, Divinity, in fact in every contact situation in different ways.
At our final assembly of term, I spoke to the boys about the disciplinary process that plays out should something go wrong. While there is an understandable desire for people to be kept informed of process and consequence, that is not always possible in a school situation as we are dealing with minors. Whenever there is an issue to be dealt with, we will do so in an educational manner, keeping the best interests of the boys and the school at heart. We are fully aware that some may feel this “sweeps matters under a carpet”. I assure you nothing could be further from the truth. We will always deal with things we know about and incidents that come to our attention. But we will deal with them in a manner that respects the age of the boys involved and their emotional development. We must be very careful not to apply judgement normally reserved for an adult, developed brain, to that of a child still in development.
We have had a tough time this past week, as individuals and as members of the Bishops community as the spotlight fell on us again. I remain concerned at the ease with which matters were reported on in public without full knowledge of the real situation. We tried to keep parents informed as best we could given the circumstances, and assure them that this incident was not what it was made out to be. The boys have been dealt with as part of our disciplinary process and many valuable lessons learned by all.
Two main lessons stood out for me and I raised them with the boys at our final assembly today. Social media and the ease with which images and content can be shared is both a blessing and a curse. Our boys often battle to understand what is appropriate and what is not and forget, in the moment, that what they send to another can have far-reaching consequences – for them or for the other person. There is a permanence at play as well, as the content they post, share, like or comment upon is there forever. I urge all parents to talk to their children about their cyber responsibilities. We will be trying to get help for them in the form of experts in the field of cyber law but this remains a vital part of parenting – those difficult conversations we need to have.
The second lesson is more difficult and has to do with masculinity, sexual citizenship and responsibilities. Our world has an awful history of abuse, particularly of women, and we need to help our boys become better men. Men who respect women and their partners and respect the act of sex as one between consenting adults in a committed relationship, according to family values, tradition and acceptable practices. The criminal act of rape is abhorrent under every circumstance and our boys also need to understand what sexual consent is about – when “no” means “no”.
Part of this conversation is the respect our boys should show others - girls and women in particular. This includes names that girls are sometimes called, wolf-whistling, commenting on a girl’s clothing and so many other examples of completely unacceptable behaviour. This conversation is also one we as parents need to have with our children and I urge you to talk to your boy and teach him about how Good Men behave towards women as we work in partnership to help him.
I share the following words from Marge Kennedy which resonated with me, particularly as we deal with difficult moments as a community and within our families.
“In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by the number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.”
RAMADAN
At our opening Chapel Assembly on Tuesday, Father Monwabisi Peter and I told the school that Muslim families were beginning the Holy Month of Ramadan on the following day. We explained the importance of this month for our Muslim families and that many boys would be fasting.
To, to all our Muslim families: Ramadan Mubarak.
MONDAY, 19 APRIL
Please remember that Monday is a school HOLIDAY. If you do need day care, please ensure that you have completed the booking form sent to you.
Enjoy the weekend.
Kind regards
GREG BROWN
HEADMASTER
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