MEN DO CRY
In the three newsletters that went out last week, the Head of Pre-Prep and the Principal spoke about emotions and boys expressing these unashamedly. Now the Prep didn’t feel “left out”, but both messages were so powerful that I am going to borrow from them today.

Tony Reeler attended the IBSC Conference in Boston at the end of last term and was particularly struck by the presentation of Gus Worland – Australian sports commentator and founder of an organisation that focuses specifically on men’s mental fitness, called Gotcha4Life: an organisation endeavouring to build emotional resilience, enable social connectedness and promote healthy help-seeking behaviours (https://www.gotcha4life.org/).

He brought back Gus  Worland’s children’s book, Boys Don’t Cry.  In it the idea is explored that many of us grew up with, the belief that boys should not show their emotions. Boys needed to “toughen up” or “man up”, or “not behave like a girl”!

The Principal advised College boys not to “gender their emotions” and allow themselves to feel both “hard” and “soft” emotions. Crying is okay for boys and not restricted to one gender. If they allow themselves this “latitude” they also need to be there for one another, trying not to act in a way that could hurt others, especially because one often does not know what burden another is carrying, or what issue they might be dealing with. Do not be afraid to seek help if needed, go to a trusted person and have that difficult conversation.  It is okay to be vulnerable.

In Taryn Bain’s words, “Boys Don’t Cry” encourages us as adults that boys don’t need to “toughen up”. What they really need is permission to feel, time to talk, and adults who let them know their emotions matter. Vulnerability isn’t something to hide – it's what makes us human.

This does not mean we do not work at developing resilience in our boys, but being expected to hide emotion or battle on on your own does not build resilience. Expressing emotion, identifying feelings and seeking help, even just in a conversation, enables them to understand themselves and their world better and we, the adults, the chance to  teach them how to deal with disappointment, hardship and stress in an open and real-life manner.

I remember the often used saying from my youth, “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!”.  It made no one stronger or more resilient, just taught you to suppress emotion, accept that you were alone and that showing vulnerability indicated weakness.

Thankfully, the world has moved on. We, as parents and teachers, can and hopefully will, raise a generation of boys who aren’t afraid to feel: raising boys who are caring, kind, connected, and strong in heart and mind.

It’s a journey: one that we have to work on every day.
Kind regards

GREG BROWN
HEADMASTER

Jaco Goosen, Director of Music at the College, will be addressing our Grade 7 music boys regarding Grade 8 Subject Choice

Time: 07h15
Venue: Prep Library

Lus vir Lees Grades 3 and 4

Time: 09h00 - 10h00
Venue: Jagger Hall

Lus vir Lees - Grades 5 and 6

Time: 11h30 - 12h30
Venue: Jagger Hall

Time: 08h00
Venue: Library

Time: 08h00
Venue: Library

Book Sale - last day

Time: 09h00
Venue: Library

Last weekend, a group of our talented boys took part in the Cape Town Drama Eisteddfod at The Wave Theatre—and what an incredible showcase it was!
Chris de Wet, Martin Truter, Alex Breslin, Kuhle Cossie, Onalenna Maelane, Murray Prain, Daniel Twycross, and Cooper Payne all performed beautifully, presenting scenes filled with energy, emotion, and confidence. Several collaborated with students from Reddam and St Cyprian’s, showing not only performance skill but also teamwork and professionalism.
We're delighted to share that all our boys received Honours and Gold awards for their performances—a reflection of their hard work and dedication. A special congratulations to Chris de Wet and Martin Truter who were awarded Cum Laude (above 96%), the highest achievement in the competition. These are truly outstanding results, and we are immensely proud of every student who participated.
Well done, boys!